Mumbles … Thirty-three Years

Today is a tough day for me.  It was thirty-three years ago that I was thinking about our destination number one on our honeymoon only a few hours after we had said I do, taken pictures and done all the tradition reception activities.  We lived as a couple for nearly 22 years.  The last few were hard.  Alcoholism twists and torments a family until it is hard to recognize happiness.  I separated from my long term marriage sure I had failed.  But an amicable decision to divorce kept us on track as friends.  And an extremely short 2 ½ years later he died.

I will always treasure the good years we had and the WONDERFUL daughter I was left with to go on.  But after 8 years now, the death has still not killed the last of my love.  I will always keep it tucked away.  But I do yearn to find someone and wonder if there is a chance for a second “true love” for me.

I dated someone for many years, it was nothing like that “true love” and did not last.  In middle age I wonder if I will ever get that chance for butterflies in my stomach and yearns when we are apart… I have to always hold onto hope.

Here’s a little something I wrote…

Photo by Yelena Odintsova on Pexels.com

(untitled so far)

The day you said you were mine

Will always bring a smile

Although it ended tragically

It was wonderful for awhile

The laughs the smiles the tenderness

Were magical, yes it’s true

In the end it was broken

Our partnership was through

I can’t say the love was gone

It is still here strong today

It leaves me here now weeping

Wishing you hadn’t gone away

Forces have ways of changing

The life you thought you’d live

This night I sit in silence

Wishing for someone to give

The remainder of these feelings inside

A second chance for me to love

A person who will care again

And fit me like a glove

Does Anybody Care

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I sit and wait
	For anybody
I let my thoughts wander
	To you
I see no hope
	For us
I feel too great a distance
	Between us
I dream of a future
	With him
But in reality I wait
	For anybody

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – anybody

Truth or Dare

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Will you turn and face me

Will you dare to look into my eyes

To see the depth of emptiness

That I hide so deep inside

*

Will you approach me

Will you dare to speak my name

To see if I am still here

Or forever lost of mind

*

Will you ever love me

Will you dare to share a kiss

To temp me with the pleasures

That lead to simple bliss

*

Will you ever bother

Will you dare to give me hope

To give me a chance of future

Or am I a sinking boat

*

I ask you for nothing

I expect less than not

One will never know the answers

When a dream is all you’ve got

Driving Ahead

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I drive down the road

Telephone poles passing by

Playing with the setting sunlight

Creating strobe light like flashes

Lost in memories

Some good some bad

I don’t know where I am going

Only know it holds some hope

My future life awaits me

Down this road I drive


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – pole

Worth The Risk

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The treatment was experimental, but his last hope.  They would fly to England and be there before the end of the year.  Oh, what a wonderful New Year it would be if this were to stop his cancer.

They had heard about the treatment through a group of other cancer patients on Facebook.  Someone from France had traveled there to try it and initial testing showed he was having success.  But others have not, and many have had severe side effects.  They knew it would never be approved in the United States at this rate, so they cashed in their life savings to try to save a life.

Six months later, he was not better, but the progress had stopped.  It proved to be sustaining, but had they started treatments too late?  He was already weak and could only do a fraction of what he used to be able to do.  But he was still alive and able to love his family; that to him was worth it all.


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – experimental

Vaguely Familiar

Photo by Anni Roenkae on Pexels.com

There is a new feeling

Coursing through my veins

I can’t quite put my finger on it

But it almost feels like hope

It is something I haven’t had

In a very long time

But with changes in the air

And freedom on the horizon

I do believe I like the way it feels


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – course

Give Me Wings

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I negotiate my life

And travel onward

Steadfast in my journey

I will make it

To the other side

No one can

Stop me now

I see daylight

Through the end

Of this long tunnel

And a new beginning

Is waiting

For me there

Amongst the flowers

And the sunshine

Hope does flutter

Her wings


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – steadfast

On Butterfly Wings

I touched your shoulder and said hi

Then everything changed

You were not as I expected

But exactly what I needed

From the moment you took my hand

The butterflies began to flutter

And they woke up something in me

Something I thought was dead

I found hope when I found you

And I will forever be grateful

You brought love back into my life

And made me feel worthwhile again


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – flutter

Maybe

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are you sure

do you really

believe that lie

what he said

same old story

likely won’t change

stand up tall

believe in yourself

face the truth

he doesn’t care

he is lost

you have hope

future looks clear

maybe new love

maybe another dream

maybe at peace

finally freed heart


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – sure