Inward I Fear

Introspective… a look inside myself

It should be good to reflect

On what I am all about

But instead my depression

Leaves me feeling negative

And finding all my faults

The demons all come out

Taunting me to find

One shred of someone decent

Others would like to know

But often I come up empty

And I still sit alone

Believing I’m not worth it

Not worth anything at all


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – introspective

Happy and Grateful – Day 46

This is February and I am well on my way to attaining a goal I set for myself.  I am trying to post every day with happiness and gratitude that I have encountered that day.  There is always something no matter how small it may seem that we can be grateful for and even just a shared smile can make you happy if only for a moment.  Please try to find those moments for yourself too…  if you’re up to it I would love if you would share them too in the comments or your own blog.  Being aware can really turn a day around!

Ever have a day when you felt just very deep in thought most of the day?  That is kind of where I have been today.  Thinking of my friend and his birthday – truly wishing him to have a good day as he does really need one.  Thinking about finances as my car needs work again.  And thinking about my future and where I am headed.  Just lots of thoughts that almost make me sad.  (and knowing I forgot my morning meds it doesn’t surprise me there is sadness there)

But it was another nice day out full of sunshine.  I took my Dad to his weekly outing to meet with his friends for coffee…that feels like my good deed for the day.  I have a home to be in and music to listen to while I write.  I have a lot to be grateful for and that should be enough to make me happy tonight.  Or at least as close to happy as I can get with so much on my mind.