The Mask Is Back

It had been my assumption
That I was ok,
But with a closer look
I found I was fooling myself.
Wearing a mask again
And struggling to get through,
Alone surrounded by people
And isolated by my depression.
I am back where it began
And blaming myself again.
If I scream out would anyone hear?
Is there anyone who would even care?

Happy and Grateful

Seven months are gone now and surprisingly I am still plugging along with this challenge to post about my happiness and gratitude every day this year.  August brings the state fair here in Iowa and lots of heat and humidity.  It is the time to see the back to school shopping start with kids dreading it and parents loving it.  As I continue my challenge I hope you will take a minute to reflect on your day too.  You can even share your happiness and gratitude here in the comments or on your own blog.  There is good in every day!

It was a beautiful spring like day.  Nice enough even to open the windows up and give the air conditioner a break.  It was so good to hear the chirping birds once again.  The screaming kids not so much, but you take what you can get.  Being a little bit closer to nature today was what I was grateful for.

Today was kind of a special day… at least the type of day I rarely get anymore.  I got to see my daughter in the morning and again tonight.  She came by with laundry and coffee this morning, then had to go to work.  She then returned after work to finish the laundry and watch more of the soap with me.  I just looked at her tonight and felt so proud… she is a beautiful young woman who is so much more independent than I ever was.  I am happy to call her my daughter and a friend.  She is my world.

And I really needed that tonight.  Been feeling pretty alone after the “disappearance” of one of my best friends (as you could see if you read my post for the daily prompt).  It has just been a very isolated week and the loneliness has gotten to me.  I think if I didn’t have you to “talk” to I would go crazy, or crazier than I already am.  So thanks for listening to me babble in these posts.

I should try to get some rest.  Less than 4 hours now when I have to drive my boyfriend to work.  May you find lots of happiness and things to be grateful for in you day!

I Still Wish Him Well

Like a pebble in your shoe

It continually wears on you,

The irksome way he avoided you.

You were good friends,

Or so you thought.

Then he side-stepped questions,

He dodged speaking to you,

He virtually disappeared

…how can anyone turn off a friendship

Like a light going off?

It’s time to dump that pebble out

And walk free of doubts.

It was never your fault

Only his way of isolation.