Control

Photo by Luis Dalvan on Pexels.com

I am lost and alone

Searching for any hope

You have weaved your web

To trap me in isolation

You alienate me from everything

Taking away any contact

Just so you can control

What I say and do

But I have news for you

I am stronger than you think

And I will fight back

Climbing out of this

Endless black hole I’m in

And one day you may find

I have reached the light of day

And walked right out of your control


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge – alienate https://fivedotoh.com/2020/06/12/fowc-with-fandango-alienate/

Alone …

 

Alone Collage

Why is it that with other people around me I can feel utterly alone, but when it was just me taking walks in nature I felt surrounded in love and beauty?  When I was more isolated in natures embrace I felt less alone than at my own home… am I really that broken?  I can find a little bit of relief in looking at those pictures I gathered back when I could still walk 30 to 60 minutes without batting an eye.  Now as my body twists in pain and weighs heavy with fatigue I am lucky to walk ten feet from the car to the bridge entering one of my favorite parks.  But those birds singing and the rushing water are like a warm embrace of an old friend.  My chair with family scattered to opposite corners of the house feels like a padded cell locking me out of life.  As the isolation grows so does the depression. Finally I wander to seek another human’s contact and feel the empty greetings of them being interrupted in the game they are playing or video they are watching.  Maybe I am meant to take flight, far away, soaring into the skies?  But my wings are clipped and I feel tethered to this existence of loneliness in life.  I only find brief moments of freedom – an occasional shared laugh or a short conversation about more than what is for dinner – that give me hope.  A hope that maybe I can slowly file that chain off my ankle and find a step or two each day towards believing that I belong and am no longer the discarded one…. alone in the corner.