It Hurts

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Heartache is the essence of love

Whether it is happy or sad

Heartache is a part of love

Loving someone so much it hurts

Or the pain from love lost

All come from the very core of love

There is no way to avoid that pain

It goes hand in hand with the joys

Love is not for the faint of heart

And often it happens at a time or place

That we never had planned

But in spite of the pain involved

It is the most beautiful feeling

After all there is that saying –

There is a fine line between pleasure and pain


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – essence

Second Chances

It’s amazing how time flies

When I look in your eyes

How I get weak in the knees

When you lovingly tease

So now as I feel

Love can again be real

Answer me this

Can I steal a kiss

Just a taste of your lips

Would make my heart do flips

I only dream of it now

But if someday somehow

We could rekindle within

What made our hearts win

All those years ago

When I loved you so

Please tell me you will

Give my heart one more thrill


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – answer

Mumbles … Alcohol

I have a love hate relationship with alcohol.  That comes after being married to an alcoholic for twenty years, about 13 to 14 years of that I knew he had a problem.  The thing is, if he doesn’t admit to a problem, it will never change and believe me, I tried to change it.  Even once I got him to admit he did have a problem, he still didn’t want to change.  By the time he realized he would lose his family, it was too late, he couldn’t change.  It still makes me so sad and angry (at the disease not him) all at the same time.

When we first were together, we were young and doing what young people do – going out to hear bands play and drinking some.  There were even nights he wouldn’t drink as we had gone out of town to see someone play.  So, no problem, right?

Then there were shake ups at work and he had more to calm his nerves when he got home.  This was when the conditions started.  “Once this happens, I will quit.”  This was everything from work to a new home, a child, etc.  There was always a this that was not enough.  Then what I think sealed his fate… his mom died.

His depression was bad, but he wouldn’t get help; he self-medicated and with alcohol being a depressant it was just getting a lot worse.  He did try treatment, it only lasted a short time, he left before he was through the process.  He and I divorced… he said he quit drinking, but the proof was still all around.  Until one day, he died at home alone.

Alcoholism effects the whole family.  It made me crazy trying to find ways to stop him – hiding his bottles, pouring them out, begging, crying, yelling – but it was not my problem to fix.  It has been such a huge impact on my life.  To this day I still debate having even one drink.  I have somewhat come to terms with what happened.  I still feel guilty from time to time – if I had only done something sooner or demanded he get help or talked to other family about it.  But I had been too ashamed to admit that we were not a perfect little family.  And in the end, alcoholism took away my absolute best friend and love of my life.

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Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – alcohol

That’s The Spot

There is a spot on my heart

I can feel it throb sharply

Whenever you’re near

And I don’t know if I can take it

When you smile and look at me

With those wonderful blue eyes

That spot it does remind me

Of pain from the past

But holds hope for the future too

I guess for now I will endure

And wonder what is going on

Behind your blue eyes


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – spot

Love Just Isn’t Fair

Your luck in love has been fleeting

Even though you have a lot to share

You squander your emotions

On men who just don’t care

They’re only there for the moment

Then off to who knows where

Maybe you should just give up

And forget about being a pair

Because lovers are never perfect

They argue and pull out hair

So ignore the pull of romance

And just hibernate like a bear

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Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – squander

Road Construction Ahead

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Falling in love

Can be just

A hazard on

The road of life

Sometimes it is

A quick little

Short cut

But if you

Ever get lucky

It can be

Travel in luxury

Through the rest

Of your journeys

But it is

Almost always

Worth the

Risk of detours


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – hazard

Daily Wishes

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I wish I could just take a train

Right to where you are

Whenever I feel lost and alone

A commute to heal my heart

**

I wish I could drive the miles

That separate our lives

Whenever I am overwhelmed

Traveling to the home I feel with you

**

I wish I could hop on a jet

And fly to where you live

Whenever I need a good long hug

A trip to feel I’m loved

**

I wish I could move towards you

And once again connect us as one

Whenever I miss you my friend

An adventure awaits to unite us


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – commute

A Single Place Setting

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I don’t know why

I thought I could do this

Holidays are for gathering

I should have known this wouldn’t work

But here I sit with knots in my stomach

And tears on my cheeks

Feeling like I am forgotten

Although I know I am not

It’s just a matter of circumstance

That I spend this holiday alone

No late night baking

No early morning to start the food

I can do whatever I want

Except what I want is to spend it with you

And I know that is not possible

Too many years have gone by

For me to be hurting like this

But I truly wish you weren’t in heaven

And could share this special day

Laughter and happiness

And a swelling pride about our child

What I do instead is embrace my tears

And reminisce our love

Before the poison took it away

Our life was once like paradise

A smile at the twinkle in your eyes

and a blush from just a touch

the passion and friendship we shared

was really once in a lifetime

So I take a deep breath and sigh

Before the memories get muddled

By the way it all had to end

I think of our daughter and son-in-law

And hope they are eating well

I know you would be happy for them

To have found each other to love

And that is what I hold onto

Knowing you are with them in spirit

And somehow I don’t feel so alone anymore


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – knot