Mumbles … Thirty-three Years

Today is a tough day for me.  It was thirty-three years ago that I was thinking about our destination number one on our honeymoon only a few hours after we had said I do, taken pictures and done all the tradition reception activities.  We lived as a couple for nearly 22 years.  The last few were hard.  Alcoholism twists and torments a family until it is hard to recognize happiness.  I separated from my long term marriage sure I had failed.  But an amicable decision to divorce kept us on track as friends.  And an extremely short 2 ½ years later he died.

I will always treasure the good years we had and the WONDERFUL daughter I was left with to go on.  But after 8 years now, the death has still not killed the last of my love.  I will always keep it tucked away.  But I do yearn to find someone and wonder if there is a chance for a second “true love” for me.

I dated someone for many years, it was nothing like that “true love” and did not last.  In middle age I wonder if I will ever get that chance for butterflies in my stomach and yearns when we are apart… I have to always hold onto hope.

Here’s a little something I wrote…

Photo by Yelena Odintsova on Pexels.com

(untitled so far)

The day you said you were mine

Will always bring a smile

Although it ended tragically

It was wonderful for awhile

The laughs the smiles the tenderness

Were magical, yes it’s true

In the end it was broken

Our partnership was through

I can’t say the love was gone

It is still here strong today

It leaves me here now weeping

Wishing you hadn’t gone away

Forces have ways of changing

The life you thought you’d live

This night I sit in silence

Wishing for someone to give

The remainder of these feelings inside

A second chance for me to love

A person who will care again

And fit me like a glove

Does Anybody Care

Photo by Abdel Rahman Abu Baker on Pexels.com
I sit and wait
	For anybody
I let my thoughts wander
	To you
I see no hope
	For us
I feel too great a distance
	Between us
I dream of a future
	With him
But in reality I wait
	For anybody

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – anybody

A to Z Challenge – S is for Sitting Bull

“Behold, my friends, the Spring has come; the earth has gladly received the embraces of the sun, and we shall soon see the results of their love.

Sitting Bull

Spring is such a beautiful time of year with so many things growing and blooming. I love the thought of it being the “embrace of their love” from the earth and sun. Take a minute to see the new growth and be amazed by it’s beauty.

Past letters…

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R

A to Z Challenge – R is for Rabindranath

“Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance.”

Rabindranath Tagor

I have had instant connections with some friends and known others for years and still not feel very connected with them. This quote is spot on! (even thought it is a day late… 🙄)

Past letters…

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q

A to Z Challenge – P is for Pablo

“Love is so short, forgetting so long.”

Pablo Neruda

Today for letter P, I searched for a quote from the poet Pablo Neruda. I found this one and was so drawn to it. We have all had “the one that got away” that years later you still wonder what happened to them and “what if” things had been different. At least for me their still is and always will be a little bit of love still there for them. Also friends and family that only pass your way briefly, but have an impact on your life, are a part of your memories forever.

Past letters…

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O

A to Z Challenge – K is for Ken Kesey

“Loved. You can’t use it in the past tense. Death does not stop that love at all.”

Ken Kesey

As I get older I learn more and more that this is true. As we age more people we care about are taken away from us, but that deep love will never die. Embrace it and remember fondly the memories of the past.

Past letters…

A B C D E F G H I J

Little Do You Know

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com
Little do you know about me
Would you believe I still…
     Dream of your “Good nights”
     Feel the palm of your hand in mine
     Smell your favorite cologne 
(the one I had to be near you to smell)
     Feel the weight of your arm on my shoulders
     Imagine the softest kiss from your lips
     Get filled with fire at the thought of your touch

Little do you know
I still love you
… well maybe now you do

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – little

Truth or Dare

Photo by Jou00e3o Jesus on Pexels.com

Will you turn and face me

Will you dare to look into my eyes

To see the depth of emptiness

That I hide so deep inside

*

Will you approach me

Will you dare to speak my name

To see if I am still here

Or forever lost of mind

*

Will you ever love me

Will you dare to share a kiss

To temp me with the pleasures

That lead to simple bliss

*

Will you ever bother

Will you dare to give me hope

To give me a chance of future

Or am I a sinking boat

*

I ask you for nothing

I expect less than not

One will never know the answers

When a dream is all you’ve got