My Cluttered Mind

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I took a walk through my mind
To see what was taking up space
Memories both good and bad
Were scattered all about
I found scenes from my childhood
Encountered some old friends
Watched my daughter being born again
Picked up a forgotten dream or two
And when I had seen enough
I wiped away the tears
Because there really is no going back
To try it one more time
Besides I can’t relive the pain
Of losing you again


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – encounter

Dave

Oh, to see his smile again

I always loved his laugh

He was from New York

And missed it terribly

But he fit in well here too

He introduced me to

The music of Genesis and

Gave me my first taste of sushi

I was in love but it wasn’t meant to be

He definitely had the city life in his veins

And I was young and naive

I will never forget the night it ended

Crying in his car in front of my house

I wanted to stay friends

But he was not so inclined

Even after more than 30 years

I still wonder where he is

And if he ever thinks of me

I do still catch myself

Looking at pictures of him

And the old feelings stir

I will always have

A place in my heart for him


Written for Fandango’s Dog Days of August (FDDA) #18 – your first love

Completely Annihilated

When love dies

It kills the heart

It obliterates the soul

And it destroys all hope

Ubiquitous memories of him

Assault me daily

And I feel at war with myself

Why can’t I forget

When he can so easily

Move forward


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – ubiquitous https://fivedotoh.com/2020/07/02/fowc-with-fandango-ubiquitous/

(Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels)

Every Single Day

I sit in silence and

I try to get my mind off you

But this is just like

Any other ordinary day

Your memories haunt me

I still feel your touch

I still smell your cologne

I still taste your lips

I am torn between

Wanting to remember everything

And wiping the slate clean

But today is just like yesterday

You consume my thoughts

And I wonder if someday

We might meet again


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – ordinary https://fivedotoh.com/2020/06/14/fowc-with-fandango-ordinary/

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich from Pexels

A to Z Challenge – K

A2Z 2020 logo

The letter K …

I have almost every ticket stub from every concert I have been to.  I have always thought I would do something clever with them, but the idea has just never struck.  I also have a handful of stuffed animals, some drawings and school pictures from my youth.  They really don’t mean a lot to anyone but me.  I would like to think someday when I am gone, they might bring a smile to my daughter’s face as some of my Mom and Dad’s keepsakes have done to me and my sister.  I think all of us have a certain number of things we keep besides pictures that take us back to yesterday.  From autograph books and old poems, I wrote, from baby blankets to dolls; there are memories all around me.  Some of them I kept, and some my parents kept for me.  But almost all will bring a smile … well maybe a few will bring a groan.  I am grateful for my keepsakes.

Little One

adorable blur bubble child
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Yesterday I was reminiscing

Of the days of your youth

The days of snowflakes on your tongue

And angels in the snow

Bubbles flying through the air

And chalk drawings on the driveway

I remember laughter until your sides hurt

From the tickle monster attacks

And quiet moments spent

With cuddles on the couch

Watching Disney movies

And singing along

Bedtime stories and books

With “just one more page”

You will forever be my little one

Even though you are a woman I admire

And love with every cell in my body

Until I take my last breath

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – tickle

Hurry Up And Wait

Slow down and wait for me

Daddy you’re walking too fast

 

Stay up here and let him wait

You don’t want to seem too eager

 

Just stand here and wait a minute

You’re Dad will walk you down the aisle

 

Wait for the contractions to come quicker

Then the baby will be on the way

 

Our lives are spent waiting for memories

To be stored in our mind’s forever

And once they’re there it shapes us

Into the people we are meant to be

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – wait

Mumbles … Brush

Today has been a challenging day.  This would have been my Dad’s 84th birthday.  He has been gone almost a year now and I miss him so much.  Tonight, my boyfriend and I played a few games of cribbage.  Dad taught me how to play.  I think that is one of the things I miss most about him.  We would play cribbage, scrabble, do jigsaw puzzles and trivia games.  It is that and some of the most basic things I miss.  I haven’t done if for like 40 years, but I remember as a kid getting his coffee ready in his thermos every night before he went to work on the grave-yard shift.

Simple everyday things can bring back floods of memories.  One of the things I miss a lot is how he would raise one eyebrow at you in question of what you just said or did.  He would shake hands with someone, and I could see the tightness of his grip whenever he did so… he had big strong hands.

But it is not just Dad I am missing tonight; I miss my Mom too.  She has been gone longer and it still hurts as bad.  Tonight’s prompt I am writing for triggered a flood of memories about Mom.  I have had long hair most of my life.  And when I was growing up, I can remember many a day sitting still (or trying to) while Mom would brush my hair to get all the rats out.  I would often beg her to stop when my hair was a particular mess, but now I would give anything to have her brush my hair once more.

photo of woman holding hair brush
Photo by Jaspereology on Pexels.com

I never knew how badly it would hurt to be without my parents.  I fear I took for granted the time I had with them.  But I do little things like the cribbage games tonight, to try to keep the happy times fresh in my mind.  Have you ever lost someone you were close with and felt you should have spent more time with them?

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – brush

New Year’s Tag

About a million years ago… ok, more like two weeks, I was tagged by Sadje for this New Years Tag.  I am slow but I finally got around to answering it.  Let’s start with the rules…

  1. Share a link back to the person who tagged you – Sadje
  2. Share a link to the person who created the tag – jesusluvsall
  3. Share a favorite New Year’s memory.
  4. Answer the questions of the person who tagged you.
  5. Tag whoever you want.
  6. Use any picture that you like for New Year’s.

One of my favorite New Year’s memory is when we traveled to see my family in Omaha over the holidays one year.  My uncle knew of a bar having a New Year’s bash and thought it would be fun if we all went.  So it was me and my sister, Mom and Dad, my Aunt and Uncle and my other Uncle… we all got there and were given teardrop stickers to put on our cheeks.  The band playing was called Cry Baby, so that explained the stickers.  I remember dancing and laughing and seeing everyone else so happy.  It wasn’t long after that when my Mom got sick and we never had another New Year’s like that again.  And I was pretty young and totally crushing on the guitar player, although I don’t remember his name.  Forever known as the Cry Baby New Year.

people toasting wine glasses
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Now the questions….

1.If you could celebrate New Year’s anywhere, where would it be.

I would really like to have a New Years party at home with family and games until midnight.

2.What is your favorite snack food for New Year’s?

Can’t go wrong with the classic chips and dip… but I also love a good veggie tray with dip.

3.Have you ever kept a New Year’s resolution? If so, what was it?

Can’t say that I have ever kept one, so I stopped making them years ago.

4.What do you want to do with your blog next year?

Pretty much the same I have been doing… if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

5.Do you prefer a big party or a small gathering to celebrate?

A small gathering for sure.  If they can’t all sit down in my living room at the same time, it is too big a group.  We can comfortably seat 7 max.

And this is when I am supposed to tag others, but it is so late in getting this done I will just allow anyone who wants to share to feel free to do so.

Oh, and HAPPY New Year!

 

 

Memories Strangle Me

The lights are out

Only the dim glow

From my phone

Shines through the night’s blackness

This old house

If full of noise

Even the wind

Creaks and cracks the wood surrounding me

I should feel comfort

I am back at home

This should be safe

But the past had some scary moments I can’t forget

I shake with fright

It is hard to breathe

And I shut my eyes tight

On the memories that continue to haunt my return home

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – scary