Looking Back

This FOWC was posted back on October 17 but I can’t help but ponder about that day even though I am days late.  It was my 54th birthday.  And a time to reminisce on past years. I recall as a young child anxiously awaiting to blow out not only the candles on my cake but my growth candle.  For those too young to know what that is… it was a candle that was lit each year to burn down to the right age.  So, there was a little anticipation to watch the year melt away.

Being the second child, I don’t recall getting a new bike on my birthday… it was always a hand me down after my sister got a new bike.  But the bike was new to me.  I do recall getting a ukulele one year after my sister had gotten a guitar on her birthday.  There were always clothes and books and either Lego’s or Barbies.  My birthdays were always special.

As an adult we still gathered for celebrations.  We would eat out or order pizza and play games.  It was always nice to get a gift, but now it was more about being together with family.  Ten years ago I had the first birthday without my Mom there, and this is the second without my Dad too.  I worry as the family size shrinks how we may not be able to stay as connected as we were when Mom and Dad were still here.  We gathered together this year, but I wonder about the future.  And with my daughter getting married and talking of having children of her own, will they have their own traditions and not continue with those we have done for years?  It is all a lot to ponder.  What are your fondest memories of your birthdays?

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – ponder

Each One

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There was the first one

The sexy one

The surprising one

The nearly perfect one

The private one

And the current one

They all wander inside

The corridors of my mind

Parts of each of them

Trapped in a labyrinth

Giving me only

The best of each one

And clouding my memory

Taking the bad times away

And making me wish

My heart could find

My way back to each of them

But I am trapped in a silence

Alone too often

Dreaming of yesterdays

And happier times

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – labyrinth

In A Million Little Pieces

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I wonder what the words will be

Spoken for my eulogy

Will there be happy memories shared

Or talk of my pain and despair

Day by day I feel the pull

Of the darkness’s evil lull

and wonder if there is any hope

to find a way that I can cope

I want a life of smiles again

Not hours of pain within

I know you can die of a broken heart

But what about a mind coming apart

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – eulogy

My Cluttered Mind

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I took a walk through my mind
To see what was taking up space
Memories both good and bad
Were scattered all about
I found scenes from my childhood
Encountered some old friends
Watched my daughter being born again
Picked up a forgotten dream or two
And when I had seen enough
I wiped away the tears
Because there really is no going back
To try it one more time
Besides I can’t relive the pain
Of losing you again

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – encounter


Oh, to see his smile again

I always loved his laugh

He was from New York

And missed it terribly

But he fit in well here too

He introduced me to

The music of Genesis and

Gave me my first taste of sushi

I was in love but it wasn’t meant to be

He definitely had the city life in his veins

And I was young and naive

I will never forget the night it ended

Crying in his car in front of my house

I wanted to stay friends

But he was not so inclined

Even after more than 30 years

I still wonder where he is

And if he ever thinks of me

I do still catch myself

Looking at pictures of him

And the old feelings stir

I will always have

A place in my heart for him

Written for Fandango’s Dog Days of August (FDDA) #18 – your first love

Completely Annihilated

When love dies

It kills the heart

It obliterates the soul

And it destroys all hope

Ubiquitous memories of him

Assault me daily

And I feel at war with myself

Why can’t I forget

When he can so easily

Move forward

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – ubiquitous https://fivedotoh.com/2020/07/02/fowc-with-fandango-ubiquitous/

(Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels)

Every Single Day

I sit in silence and

I try to get my mind off you

But this is just like

Any other ordinary day

Your memories haunt me

I still feel your touch

I still smell your cologne

I still taste your lips

I am torn between

Wanting to remember everything

And wiping the slate clean

But today is just like yesterday

You consume my thoughts

And I wonder if someday

We might meet again

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – ordinary https://fivedotoh.com/2020/06/14/fowc-with-fandango-ordinary/

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich from Pexels

A to Z Challenge – K

A2Z 2020 logo

The letter K …

I have almost every ticket stub from every concert I have been to.  I have always thought I would do something clever with them, but the idea has just never struck.  I also have a handful of stuffed animals, some drawings and school pictures from my youth.  They really don’t mean a lot to anyone but me.  I would like to think someday when I am gone, they might bring a smile to my daughter’s face as some of my Mom and Dad’s keepsakes have done to me and my sister.  I think all of us have a certain number of things we keep besides pictures that take us back to yesterday.  From autograph books and old poems, I wrote, from baby blankets to dolls; there are memories all around me.  Some of them I kept, and some my parents kept for me.  But almost all will bring a smile … well maybe a few will bring a groan.  I am grateful for my keepsakes.

Little One

adorable blur bubble child
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Yesterday I was reminiscing

Of the days of your youth

The days of snowflakes on your tongue

And angels in the snow

Bubbles flying through the air

And chalk drawings on the driveway

I remember laughter until your sides hurt

From the tickle monster attacks

And quiet moments spent

With cuddles on the couch

Watching Disney movies

And singing along

Bedtime stories and books

With “just one more page”

You will forever be my little one

Even though you are a woman I admire

And love with every cell in my body

Until I take my last breath


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – tickle

Hurry Up And Wait

Slow down and wait for me

Daddy you’re walking too fast


Stay up here and let him wait

You don’t want to seem too eager


Just stand here and wait a minute

You’re Dad will walk you down the aisle


Wait for the contractions to come quicker

Then the baby will be on the way


Our lives are spent waiting for memories

To be stored in our mind’s forever

And once they’re there it shapes us

Into the people we are meant to be


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – wait