Play On

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Music affects the soul

It brings emotions out in the listener

Music affects the heart

We can’t help but feel good when we hear a favorite song

Music affects the mind

Memories come drifting back with every note

Music affects every aspect of our lives

Let it play on

***

A song that has been on my mind recently and Tom was one of my Mom’s favorite so in honor of her this Mother’s Day evening…. hope you like this little bit of blues.


For Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – aspect

Stolen Memories

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I went into the room

The room where he sat

Hoping to find him peaceful

Peaceful and having a good day

All I wanted was a spark

A spark of recognition

To show me he remembered

Remembered who I was

But today was like a nightmare

A nightmare of forgotten past

He said he didn’t know

Know anything about me

He said he wanted to go home

Home to see his parents

But they had already died

Died many years before

So I sit here as a stranger

A stranger to my father

And hope this awful disease

Disease that steals his memories

Will let him retain some pride

Pride in who he was once

I see in the mirror our reflections

Reflections of our life before dementia

And it makes me want to cry

Cry for all we both have lost


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – spark

A Smile

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Take a minute

Can you think about me

Do you have it in you

To wonder how I am

Do you ever want to

Just send me a text

Or am I a thought

That you often avoid

To shut out of your mind

What we used to have

I only wonder because

I so very often

Still dream about you

And I wonder if you ever

Have a memory of me

That brings a smile to your face


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – avoid

Mumbles … Lucky

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As we approach the end of the year, I look back on some of my memorable New Years Eve celebrations.  I know a lot of years Mom and Dad would have friends over and we would play cards and the house was full of laughter.  One year we visited family in Omaha and went to a bar my uncle liked, to see a band called Cry Baby (I will never forget that as they handed out tear drop stickers at the door).

As my family grew, my husband and I carried on the gaming tradition with my daughter.  We played Monopoly or cards and snacked on food until the ball dropped in Time Square.  And we always had sparkling cider so the whole family could toast the New Year.

One of the traditions I still carry out is something my grandma always used to tell me.  She would eat oysters on crackers every New Years to bring good luck.  I also carry out a tradition that started when my daughter was a little older, we began opening a fortune cookie after midnight to see how lucky the New Year would be for us.

Now a lot of my family is gone, it is just my daughter and my sister and her family.  My daughter has her own friends to celebrate with.  My sister and her boyfriend usually go out and I just never cared to be out on the roads with all the drunk drivers that night.  So New Year’s Eve is pretty quiet for me.  My boyfriend works a 7am on New Years Day so it will probably be me and Words with Friends for the night… a drink of sparkling cider and some oysters, watching the ball drop in an empty Times Square.  May you all have a happy and safe New Year’s Eve!

What are some of your favorite ways to ring in the New Year?


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – lucky

Never At Rest

I still see her body

Lifeless in the chair

It was so surreal

Just sitting and talking

Like there wasn’t

A dead body in the room

To say I was uneasy

Is an understatement

But I didn’t know better

To leave the room

When they came to take her

I thought they were not

Gentle enough

When they moved her

She was my mom still

I knew she couldn’t feel

But I watched and wanted

To protect her body

Like she had protected me for years

When they zipped the bag

I turned away

It was final

And I have to see that image

Played over and over

Especially around the holidays

When I miss her most

Her body was laid to rest

But my memories never will be


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – body

See Me

I have a cluttered mind

Thoughts bouncing off the walls

Echoing in the darkness

It is like a song on repeat

It just keeps going and going

I wander through carefully

Like tiptoeing through a mine field

Afraid to wake your memory

But it is there

Staring at me

Demanding to be seen

Heard

Felt

Instead of fearing it

I take refuge in its warmth

There were good days

And there was love

That I will always treasure

Wrapping myself in these old feelings

Is like coming home after a trip

So glad to be in your own domain

Free to do as you want

I silently cry because you’re gone

And whisper to you

A happy birthday

To my one and only love


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – refuge

Looking Back

This FOWC was posted back on October 17 but I can’t help but ponder about that day even though I am days late.  It was my 54th birthday.  And a time to reminisce on past years. I recall as a young child anxiously awaiting to blow out not only the candles on my cake but my growth candle.  For those too young to know what that is… it was a candle that was lit each year to burn down to the right age.  So, there was a little anticipation to watch the year melt away.

Being the second child, I don’t recall getting a new bike on my birthday… it was always a hand me down after my sister got a new bike.  But the bike was new to me.  I do recall getting a ukulele one year after my sister had gotten a guitar on her birthday.  There were always clothes and books and either Lego’s or Barbies.  My birthdays were always special.

As an adult we still gathered for celebrations.  We would eat out or order pizza and play games.  It was always nice to get a gift, but now it was more about being together with family.  Ten years ago I had the first birthday without my Mom there, and this is the second without my Dad too.  I worry as the family size shrinks how we may not be able to stay as connected as we were when Mom and Dad were still here.  We gathered together this year, but I wonder about the future.  And with my daughter getting married and talking of having children of her own, will they have their own traditions and not continue with those we have done for years?  It is all a lot to ponder.  What are your fondest memories of your birthdays?


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – ponder

Each One

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There was the first one

The sexy one

The surprising one

The nearly perfect one

The private one

And the current one

They all wander inside

The corridors of my mind

Parts of each of them

Trapped in a labyrinth

Giving me only

The best of each one

And clouding my memory

Taking the bad times away

And making me wish

My heart could find

My way back to each of them

But I am trapped in a silence

Alone too often

Dreaming of yesterdays

And happier times


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – labyrinth

In A Million Little Pieces

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I wonder what the words will be

Spoken for my eulogy

Will there be happy memories shared

Or talk of my pain and despair

Day by day I feel the pull

Of the darkness’s evil lull

and wonder if there is any hope

to find a way that I can cope

I want a life of smiles again

Not hours of pain within

I know you can die of a broken heart

But what about a mind coming apart


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – eulogy

My Cluttered Mind

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I took a walk through my mind
To see what was taking up space
Memories both good and bad
Were scattered all about
I found scenes from my childhood
Encountered some old friends
Watched my daughter being born again
Picked up a forgotten dream or two
And when I had seen enough
I wiped away the tears
Because there really is no going back
To try it one more time
Besides I can’t relive the pain
Of losing you again


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – encounter