Cursed Gravity

A fun fact… most of the big ones I have at some time covered with a portion of a post.  So, I am going back to a special thing I did that I can barely remember but I had a love hate relationship with it.  Back in the day (early 70s), at least around here, there was a class you could take through parks and rec that was a skill I have used zero times in my life.

Both my sister and I took a class for baton twirling.  It was very big for baton twirlers to be at the state fair talent search, and the occasional marching band, but your average citizen does not need that skill.  I loved the class because my mom used to twirl a baton in her marching band and made it look so easy.  I wanted to be just like mom.

Gravity had other plans for me and I dropped the baton more times than I caught it.  And there were the bruises from this metal stick with heavy rubber knobs on it falling and hitting me in various places.  I was black and blue all over my arms.

Now in 2020, nearly 50 years later, I wonder if any towns still offer classes like that for kids in the summer or any time of year really.  Of course now a days, you would get a visit from child protective services if you had a child with that many bruises.  It was an experience that was not a life changer, but I can look back and smile at how hard I tried to be like mom.


Written for Fandango’s Dog Days of August (FDDA) #24 – a fun fact

(photo from Google search)

We Would Never Share Chocolate

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It has been ten years

And I miss you as much now

As I did the day you left

Nearly every day that goes by

I still remember you

And wish I could be with you again

Just a moment to say I love you

To hear your laughter

To share some music

You taught me so much

And I feel I never told you thanks

What I wouldn’t give

To play parcheesi one more time

To sit next to you at a concert

To share a bar of chocolate

(That’s not right – we’d each have our own)

Often I wish there were guarantees

That I will see you again

Until my day comes

I can only hope

July 17th wasn’t the end


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – nearly

Working The Skein

She sat next to her mom on the couch.  Her mom was crocheting an afghan and she was holding the skein of yarn, pulling more out when needed.  She liked to “help” her mom crochet.  She could get underneath the afghan as it grew longer and make silly patterns with the yarn as she pulled it out.  But she had to be careful not to get it tangled up, mom did not like that.

That memory was crystal clear this cold winter night.  Sharon was missing the warmth of the afghan but not as much as she missed her mom.

(100 words)

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – yarn https://fivedotoh.com/2020/06/02/fowc-with-fandango-yarn/

I Miss You Mom

photo of cemetery
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

She left peacefully

Silently in the night

When I heard the news

I was instantly

Inundated with memories

And questions I could never ask

I felt numb and had

The worst pain I’ve ever had

All at the same time

It has been nearly ten years

And every bit of pain is still there

I wonder will it ever go away

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – inundated

Memories Stun Daughter

Melancholy memories
Of Millie, Mom and me
Marvel at the miracle
Made mingling at the mall
Stories stuffed with sadness
So sorry someone suffered
She should have survived longer
She should have seen success
But denied disease deteriorates
Daughter’s delicate Mom
Done dancing and doubled up laughing
Death dons dresses
Does not dally
… melancholy memories
Sadness strikes dawning day

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – melancholy

Mumbles … Mother’s Day

My view of Mother’s Day has been slightly skewed. It was always a joyous time to celebrate with my Mom when I was growing up. Then when I became a mother myself it brought on a deeper meaning. For the last eight years though since my Mom passed away it is a difficult balancing game between the joy of being a mom and the despair I feel no longer having my Mom in this world.

My daughter is my life and I really try to focus on that, but I miss the friend I had in my Mom. She went to concerts with me, would play games together and shared our love of good music. She and I would have late night talks into the wee hours of the morning. She was always very open with me and I was with her.

Our relationship was not perfect. I will never forget learning on the eve of my wedding she didn’t want me to get married and she told me he was wrong for me. …twenty years later that came to be true, did she know something in advance? Nah, but I wouldn’t change a thing because I got my daughter down that path.

I hope everyone has had a good day. Those who are mothers, want to be mothers, lost babies that made them alone mothers, dads who have to be mothers too, with mothers living or gone… a Happy Mother’s Day to all. I will now have a silent tribute to my Mom, looking through some old pictures, and trying to remember she will always be here with me in my heart.

Happy and Grateful – Day 301

The month of October is upon us.  Fall is in full swing with the leaves gathering on the lawn… maybe a pile or two to run through even.  The evenings are getting dark earlier as the days grow shorter.  And a few of us look forward to a good scare with Halloween coming this month.  Everyday has at least some small portion of good in it.  I am looking for that good with this challenge to find my happiness and gratitude every day.  Join in with the challenge by commenting or writing your own blog… let’s find some goodness today.

The month is starting to wind down and I am feeling more and more depressed.  My mom has been gone for 7 years but I still miss her so on her birthday which would be on Tuesday.  I miss the friendship we had.  I miss her sense of humor.  I miss her love of children.  I miss her love of music.  I just miss her.  I don’t feel it will ever get easier to be without her.  But I am grateful for the memories I have that no one can take away.

Another one of Moms loves was ISU football… today was their homecoming game and they won.  It would have made Mom happy and it did make me happy that they won.

I am getting tired so it is time to finish this up.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 291

The month of October is upon us.  Fall is in full swing with the leaves gathering on the lawn… maybe a pile or two to run through even.  The evenings are getting dark earlier as the days grow shorter.  And a few of us look forward to a good scare with Halloween coming this month.  Everyday has at least some small portion of good in it.  I am looking for that good with this challenge to find my happiness and gratitude every day.  Join in with the challenge by commenting or writing your own blog… let’s find some goodness today.

The month of October now runs in two sections for me.  The first 2/3 is anticipation for my birthday.  That happened yesterday and it was a wonderful day.  But for the last 7 years the last third of the month is harder to get through.  I feel the let down that there was one person not there to share in my birthday… my mom.  Add to that the fact that my mom’s birthday was the 30th of October and there is more to miss.  Plus she would just love to see the kids in their costumes for Halloween.  So my mood has dropped today.  I also had a couple of silly disappointments where I just expected too much and was let down… it is not a very good day for me.

I did take some happiness getting to try out my new embossing tool I got from my Dad.  I didn’t make a full card, but have parts ready for one.  Now to decide who I need to send a card and letter to next.

My gratitude for the day comes from a friend who texted me.  She is new to the smart phone technology so me and another friend were showing her emojis that she could use.  It was good to chat with her tonight and imagining her laughing at the messages.

I need to close up the patio door and turn out the light.  There is no reason to stay awake with my thoughts any longer.  Maybe sleep will come swiftly tonight.  Thankfully I see my therapist in the morning.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a good night/day!

Is Mommy Ok

She attacked the room
Like a wild savage
Throwing things
Ripping papers
And screaming
I couldn’t say for sure
What she actually did
I only heard it
While cowering in my bed
Covers tight around me
While mom ended her bender
In a fit of rage that night
I never will forget
The pain and fear I felt
Only ten and afraid
But worried about my mom…