Mumbles … Mother’s Day

My view of Mother’s Day has been slightly skewed. It was always a joyous time to celebrate with my Mom when I was growing up. Then when I became a mother myself it brought on a deeper meaning. For the last eight years though since my Mom passed away it is a difficult balancing game between the joy of being a mom and the despair I feel no longer having my Mom in this world.

My daughter is my life and I really try to focus on that, but I miss the friend I had in my Mom. She went to concerts with me, would play games together and shared our love of good music. She and I would have late night talks into the wee hours of the morning. She was always very open with me and I was with her.

Our relationship was not perfect. I will never forget learning on the eve of my wedding she didn’t want me to get married and she told me he was wrong for me. …twenty years later that came to be true, did she know something in advance? Nah, but I wouldn’t change a thing because I got my daughter down that path.

I hope everyone has had a good day. Those who are mothers, want to be mothers, lost babies that made them alone mothers, dads who have to be mothers too, with mothers living or gone… a Happy Mother’s Day to all. I will now have a silent tribute to my Mom, looking through some old pictures, and trying to remember she will always be here with me in my heart.

Happy and Grateful – Day 141

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

Today started out cool and cloudy, but no rain and we actually saw the sun by the afternoon.  It was a pretty nice day.  We were celebrating my boyfriend’s mom’s birthday and a late Mother’s Day with her.  We visited and had some cake.  Got to see her new rescue puppy.  It was a nice time and my daughter was even able to come along before she had to work.

I also felt a little better depression wise… but then nights are always worse for me in general and it is just starting to get late.  I am happy we were all able to celebrate my boyfriend’s mom’s birthday and I am grateful I felt better today.  Now to do some more word therapy and try to sleep earlier tonight… the fatigue is always there.

Happy and Grateful – Day 134

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there, the dads who fill both shoes and those who wait to be a mom.  I had a nice day.  My daughter came over with “breakfast in bed” for me – a bag of bagels and an iced coffee.  She also had some flowers for me… now the trick is to keep the cat out of them!

The mercury is starting to inch up a little higher outside.  We had temperatures in the 80’s today and the humidity was up.  We decided to tough it out today, but will turn on the air tomorrow before it gets too hot.  I am going to be uncomfortable enough I don’t want to be hot too.

Jumping ahead just for a moment… I am making no promises about my posts tomorrow night.  I may try to get to them early, but don’t know if I will have time.  I have to prep for a colonoscopy scheduled on Tuesday.  Been through one before (10 years ago) so I know the test is a breeze, the prep is no fun!  So depending on how things go tomorrow I may not post until Tuesday night.  I will try to squeeze it in though.

Back to today… I was happy to see my daughter.  She can always make me smile.  And I was grateful for a day where I could eat what I wanted (not looking forward to a clear liquid diet tomorrow).  Now to get some sleep as I know it will be hard to sleep tomorrow night.  Good night!