Mumbles… duties

I wanted to take a minute to yell HELP!  Have any of you had experience with writing an obituary?  My grandmother who turned 100 this past September passed away this week.  Her only child (my mom) is gone so that leaves me and my sister as the closest relative.  Grandma’s siblings are all gone.  Her friends are only a few from the nursing home she has been living in.  So my sister and I are helping to coordinate the memorial service.

I spent yesterday going through boxes of old pictures and snapshots trying to find moments captured with Grandma… she was not fond of the camera though.  Today I scanned what I found and then searched a little bit more at my Dad’s house.  I should be able to scan those in tomorrow.  We will display the pictures at the memorial.

Then there is the memories we need to share at the service.  If we are not comfortable with standing up and speaking the minister will read them for us.  Neither my sister or I are comfortable speaking in groups, so we need to write those up for the minister.

The hardest part of all of this is that all those memories of Grandma make me miss her and feel like there should have been more that I could have done while she was here.  Then I think of the others I loved who have left us, my Mom, my other Grandma and Grandpa… all gone.  Even my ex-husband who left us too early.  So before I know it I am all worked up and a mess.

But the worst part… I haven’t really cried yet.  I feel like I am broken somehow.  A few tears here and there but not a real cry.  My doctor tells me the tears will come, probably when I am not ready for them.  I do remember after my Mom passed away it was a lot of little things that turned the tears on for me… seeing that first baby after she died (Mom loved kids), a favorite song of hers on the radio, something on TV she would have loved to have seen, etc.

I will make it through all my duties and get though the service I know, but I am afraid if I slow down too much now I will never get things done.  But seriously… have any of you ever written an obituary? I could use a few pointers.

Mr. White

He lived next door

I saw him

Almost every day

He always had a smile

And a friendly word

Then I moved away

And almost forgot him

Today I saw his picture

And I finally

Learned his story

His family was all gone

His wife passed before him

His child died from cancer

He gave to the community

He was a veteran of Vietnam

We once were neighbors

And I had never known

All the pain in his life

He always was so positive

I was sad to read

He died at 67…