Mumbles … onerous

According to a google search onerous is ” involving an amount of effort and difficulty that is oppressively burdensome.” It lists synonyms as being heavy, burdensome, crushing, difficult, hard… My mind is in a mess right now and every thought is heavy, crushing and difficult. To create a coherent thought into a sentence is burdensome and hard. I watched my Dad take his last breath tonight, but I have to write. I have to let some words out along with the tears. I have to try to find a little normalicy to ground me.

We just put Dad into hospice care. We had a meeting Wednesday with staff that he should have 24/7 care. We implimented that with staffing from Home Instead by Thursday. He had his first comfort meds on Thursday and just that fast he is gone tonight.

I am sitting up waiting to call a few people in the early morning before they start their days. I can’t see a call in the middle of the night disrupting their sleep when there is nothing they can do.

This is not much of a post, but I have rewritten it three times. I think I will accept this version and post it. There may be a lot of my Dad in my upcoming posts. He was a wonderful man, who is greatly missed.

 

Written for (my peace of mind and) Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – onerous