Searching for Change

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I am stuck

In a world fraught

With pain and bad thoughts

The only way out

I see is through you

Through change and acceptance

Expression of feelings

That leave behind no doubts

Until then I am drowning

In a glut of despair

Waiting for something

To take me from here


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – glut

Record With a Skip

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I am not a stranger to troubles, and I am far from impervious to pain.  I sit here on a higher pain day glad my feet have stopped “burning” finally.  I took one of my pain pills and massaged my feet a while… something finally helped.  I have clouded thoughts of emptiness after two really fun weekends with a visiting friend so now when she is gone back home, I feel pretty empty again.

I am still working on catching up… I know I sound like a broken record, record, record.  But I am really trying.  I have been busy with therapy and doctor visits.  Now my cat is going to the vet for tests.  And there are the usual trips to the store a couple of times a week.  With the heat of summer, I am just wiped out!

So just to touch base I am still at it.  If I get a couple of posts in a day, I will feel good about gaining a little ground. If I don’t, I will hope to at least get one done to not lose any ground.  Maybe by next weekend I will be updating less than a week behind instead of more.  But it is what it is…

I hope everyone has a good week and happy blogging!  (((HUGS)))


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – impervious

Set Me Free

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Remove the sand within my eyes

Take the knives out of my back

I need to stop walking this broken glass

Both calves are tied in knots

I struggle to raise my arms

And my neck is stiff at best

This fibro flare has me in pain

And my mind all out of whack

As I struggle to write these words

I catch my breath in gasps

I hope the end of this flare is soon

I want to feel happiness again


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – remove

I Don’t Want To See

I wish I could take a picture of the past

Snap it out of focus and blurred

The memories are too painful

I want to find the silver lining

Of the dark clouds that I had

Only one thing I can hope for

That time will blur the things I recall

And eventually the pain will fade


Written for Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) – blur

Return the Favor

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I can see her cry

And it breaks my heart

I see him struggle

And I want to help

I know they are in trouble

And I want to save them

***

So many of the people I love

Are caught in times of trouble

Cancer, death, pain, and homelessness

I am sympathetic to all

And so deeply sad as there is little I can do

To ease their pain and sorrow

***

I try to lend an ear

I will listen to all they say

I lend a shoulder and tissue

To collect all of their tears

I want to be there for them

As they have been there for me


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – sympathetic

Too Much of a Bad Thing

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Is there really

Such malice in your heart

That you would

Turn you back on me

When I was knocked down

Is there really

Such trauma in your life

That you squirm

When someone sees the facts

That you are not perfect

Is there really

Such pain in your past

That you can’t

Open one door

And let a friend inside

… it was such a waste of my time


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – such

Flaring

Like an insolent child

My fibro shows its disobedient side

Attacking me day after day

Showing me pain

Showing me fatigue

Showing me depression

It is the bully

Taking it all out on me

Making it harder to get through

Even a day of nothing but rest

I am struggling back with hope

That tomorrow will be better

Until then I turn on the heating pad

Reach for my medicine

And try to find a little comfort


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – insolent

*** It has been a rough few days and I am starting to come out of it and hopefully can do some more reading and writing to get to where I should be soon. Please be patient with me. (((HUGS)))

Goodbye

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So much pain this year

Today I did hear

Someone so close to me

Met her final destiny

Her heart grew ill

And she lost her will

Now I am forever lost

And at what a cost

It is not sublime

Being stuck in time

Longing for yesterday

And a chance to say

I love you “sis”

You will be missed


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – sublime

Is That Really Me

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I write when I am happy

I write when I am hurt

I pour out my feelings in words

To make the day complete

There are days though

When I feel someone else take over

And the words spew forth

Full of anger, pain and hate

I study the words and wonder

Thinking I couldn’t possibly feel like that

But there are the words

Written right in front of me

Today I hated myself

And tomorrow I fear the same

If I can’t slow down

This awful pain


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – study

My Cluttered Mind

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I took a walk through my mind
To see what was taking up space
Memories both good and bad
Were scattered all about
I found scenes from my childhood
Encountered some old friends
Watched my daughter being born again
Picked up a forgotten dream or two
And when I had seen enough
I wiped away the tears
Because there really is no going back
To try it one more time
Besides I can’t relive the pain
Of losing you again


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – encounter