Today has been a challenging day. This would have been my Dad’s 84th birthday. He has been gone almost a year now and I miss him so much. Tonight, my boyfriend and I played a few games of cribbage. Dad taught me how to play. I think that is one of the things I miss most about him. We would play cribbage, scrabble, do jigsaw puzzles and trivia games. It is that and some of the most basic things I miss. I haven’t done if for like 40 years, but I remember as a kid getting his coffee ready in his thermos every night before he went to work on the grave-yard shift.
Simple everyday things can bring back floods of memories. One of the things I miss a lot is how he would raise one eyebrow at you in question of what you just said or did. He would shake hands with someone, and I could see the tightness of his grip whenever he did so… he had big strong hands.
But it is not just Dad I am missing tonight; I miss my Mom too. She has been gone longer and it still hurts as bad. Tonight’s prompt I am writing for triggered a flood of memories about Mom. I have had long hair most of my life. And when I was growing up, I can remember many a day sitting still (or trying to) while Mom would brush my hair to get all the rats out. I would often beg her to stop when my hair was a particular mess, but now I would give anything to have her brush my hair once more.
I never knew how badly it would hurt to be without my parents. I fear I took for granted the time I had with them. But I do little things like the cribbage games tonight, to try to keep the happy times fresh in my mind. Have you ever lost someone you were close with and felt you should have spent more time with them?
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – brush
As March begins I continue with my goal to find happiness and gratitude every day. There is at least some small thing that can bring a smile and give you a moment to be grateful for. Please join me in looking for the good moments of the day … it would be great if you would share them in the comments or on your own blog. Be aware of the little wonders of the day!
Today was about the same again with my fibro… although I did have nerve pain in my left hand for a majority of the day. Usually it only lasts a while in the morning. Another lovely gift from fibro! But the pain level overall was down a little so I was able to go to my Dad’s to help him get some dinner. It was only a heat and eat, but I couldn’t do much more than that.
After dinner he had me cut both of us a piece of pie to eat. It was nice to just sit and talk with him a while tonight. A lot of times I am rushed as I either have to get back home for our dinner or it is late and I am tired and want to get home and relax. But tonight my boyfriend was napping so I went over a little early. We had a nice talk and shared a yummy turtle pie.
I am happy to have some quiet moments with my Dad still. I am grateful I recognize how few and precious those times are while I can still have them. I missed out on some of that time with my mom as I didn’t think she would leave us when she did. Take each special moment you can with your parents while you can.