The light flickers off and on
Pictures in my mind flash too
A million different memories flood me
Like the tears flowing from my eyes
The past does not seem so awful
And I long to go back there with you
But with one word spoken I know I never can
Because you now are dead
And a part of me will never recover
*****
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – past
I wish I could take a rag
And wipe away the cobwebs of my past
Use a broom and dustpan
To sweep up fractured moments
Scrub brush in my hand
And I will wash away the painful bits left behind
**
If only cleaning up the past were possible
I could have a fresh start today
Instead the ghosts still coat everything
With the shadows and grime of yesterday
*****
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – sweep
They swarm around me unseen
Some to protect
Some to just watch
Some to never let me forget
The ghosts of my past
Are always with me
Those who have died
Those whose memory is strong
And those who still torture my soul
I have never seen them
But I can feel they are there
And will always be a part of me
They helped me become
Who I am today
And I welcome them
And their energies
Always beside me
Haunting echoes of my past
*****
Do you have ghosts you are thankful for? We always carry those with us who have touched our lives for good or bad. Don’t let them scare you.
If I say I’m sorry
Will it take the hurt away
If I make amends
For all I have done
Will it change the past
If I sincerely apologize
For the choices I made
And where we ended up
Would you still be here today
If I said it once
I said it a million times
I am sorry
But you had your chances
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – apology
I apologize for being absent for so long… life has been, well life and one thing after another has kept me away. Things are looking pretty good though and I am back at it, trying to catch up. Hope you are all well! (((HUGS)))
“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.”
James Thurber
I saw a post once that said dwelling in the past was depression and always looking ahead was anxiety but enjoying the moment brought peace. Having both I can see the correlation. Take the time to be in the now and find all the good it has to give.
Past letters …
Do you remember me?
I can’t forget you.
Do you ever wish it had been different?
I do all the time.
Do you have an urge to communicate with me?
I want to talk to you almost daily.
Do you regret our past?
It is impossible for me to.
Do you still care a little?
It is unfathomable that I could ever stop caring.
Do you remember me?
I will never forget you.
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – unfathomable
I wish I could take a picture of the past
Snap it out of focus and blurred
The memories are too painful
I want to find the silver lining
Of the dark clouds that I had
Only one thing I can hope for
That time will blur the things I recall
And eventually the pain will fade
Written for Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) – blur
Shake up the bottle
Mix the ingredients
The elixir must be right
It needs to invigorate me
Get me through this night
As shadows creep in
And your memory haunts
I must be vigilant
And be ready for anything
You said you would haunt me
And it appears you were right
But tonight will be different
I will draw on my strength
To meet you head on
And face the demons
You brought to my life
You will no longer
Bring me fear from your grave
I drink down my liquid courage
And wait for your memory
To visit one last time
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – invigorate
The lights are out
Only the dim glow
From my phone
Shines through the night’s blackness
This old house
If full of noise
Even the wind
Creaks and cracks the wood surrounding me
I should feel comfort
I am back at home
This should be safe
But the past had some scary moments I can’t forget
I shake with fright
It is hard to breathe
And I shut my eyes tight
On the memories that continue to haunt my return home
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – scary
Dear Me,
I didn’t mean to hurt you
And lead you down this path,
But my emotions were all tangles up
In thoughts about the past.
I didn’t mean to jeopardize
The future you had planned,
In the heat of the moment,
It just got out of hand.
I could say it was a mistake
That won’t be made again,
But I can never be sure
Of anything again.
Anyway, I have to go now
It is time to face the truth
And hope that things will fall in place
Not crash right through the roof.
So, I write to ask forgiveness
And hope you will comply
Because I can’t live without you,
Signed lovingly, Myself and I
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – anyway
Leigha Robbins 