Mumbles … Vilify

I need to write for the word vilify tonight… and I don’t have it in me.  It is such a nasty word about raking someone over the coals.  Lies and truths destroying someone’s life.  I can’t do it.  I have had people in my past hurt me in different ways, and to this day I still defend most of them.  It is just my nature to care forever.  So, we are skipping vilify tonight.

I do however have a question for you all.  A dear friend of mine just lost many personal irreplaceable objects in a fire.  You can replace the furniture and walls, but the pictures, memorabilia, keepsakes can’t be redone.  I feel at a loss.  I want to help my friend through this painful time, but I am clueless as to what I can do, if there is anything I can do.  Have any of you ever been through a fire or helped a friend or family member out after one?  Do you have any words of wisdom of something I could do?  Thankfully no one was home at the time, so no one was hurt, but the house is a total loss. 


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – vilify

Fandango’s Provocative Question #64

Fandango has a question he poses every week… this week I think I will join in with my answer.  From his post:

Before I ever started blogging, I was talking with a guy who was a blogger. I asked him why he enjoyed blogging. His answer surprised me. He said that on his blog, he could be the man he always wanted to be. He added that he liked who he was on his blog better than who he was in the real world.

That floored me. I couldn’t fathom how someone could be one person in real life and another person in a virtual life. But he explained that he could more freely express himself on his blog. That he was actually more forthright, honest, and open about his opinions, perspectives, and beliefs in the blogosphere than he could ever be in real life, where he felt constrained by the etiquette of polite society. His blogging self, he said, was more reflective of who he was than his “real” self. My mind was blown.

So my question this week is this.

Are you the same person on your blog as you are in real life? Do you like yourself more in the virtual world than you do in the real world?

I am kind of like I am in real life… kind of.  Here with an anonymous blog I feel more open and honest.  In real life I am a scared shy lady who is afraid and depressed a lot.  I think here because I am so honest and open I feel stronger as a person.  If I have feelings for someone, I find it easier to “talk” to them through a poem or words in general; I get tongue tied carrying on a conversation a lot.  I just don’t have the confidence I seem to find somewhere in my writing.

Do I like myself more?  That’s a tough one.  I think I do prefer the blog me.  I don’t have much self-worth in real life.  I am starting to believe my writing is ok.  I have a few followers that tell me I am doing a good job anyway.  And I think I have more friends in the blogging community than I trust in real life.  I have three people in the last 8 or 9 years that have just turned around and walked away.  So, it is hard to trust… and my ex-husband didn’t help me with the trust issues with him being an alcoholic.  But yes, I like my blogging me better than the real world me.

 

Written for Fandango’s Provocative Question (#FPQ) #64

Not Yet

He said he had to think about it

Needed time to decide

It really was a big question

And he had to take his time

For he wanted to be judicious

And not make a mistake he’d regret

So he thought and thought

And came to the conclusion

I haven’t thought enough yet

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – judicious

The Question

Based on what you said

I think I know the answer

Before I ask the question

 

Based on how you act

I think I know the answer

Before I ask the question

 

The question haunts me

It haunts me

And makes my heart break

 

Based on what I know

I think I know the answer

Before I ask the question

 

Do you still love me

Do you still love me

Did you ever love me

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – base

Sudden Silence

A question is on my mind
Will you take the time to answer it
Do I even really want to know
I debate with myself
Should I ask or let it go
I fear the worst
But keep holding onto hope
I have been puzzled by your actions
There has been such a dramatic change
I used to be a part of your life
Day in and day out
Now I seem to be a distant memory
So I want to know
Do I still matter to you

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – question

Mumbles… How Are You Today?

I worked retail for 20 years and having had that background I can usually tell who is sincere when they ask if I am having a good day or if I found everything ok versus those that are reading a script before they race to the time clock. The faster they say it the more fake it seems to be; a cursory response only to fulfill the minimum duties before the paycheck hits their pockets.

I am not saying I didn’t have days where I was robotic in nature. We will all have off days. But I really cared about my customers. There were regular ones that I would get updates on family or vacations they took. One of my favorite customers often shared photographs she was picking up with me. There were a couple I could always count on for a good joke. And of course there were a few I hoped didn’t come through my lane, but I still tried my best to make their day a little brighter.

So the next time someone asks you how your day is, please give them a response. Not all of them are reading cue cards waiting for their next dollar. There are actually people who enjoy working with the public, and do pay attention to how you answer that question.

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – cursory

The Question

We will not do this willy-nilly

To act fast would just be silly

Let’s think on this tonight

We’ve got to get this right

It is not a piece of cake

The right decision we must make

This is about the rest of our life

You asked me to be your wife

I been down that road before

It ended with a slamming door

So don’t tell me to answer now

This is a very serious vow

Yes or no one thing is true

I will always deeply love you

 

(just fiction… my boyfriend and I have both been burned in the past and are not looking for marriage right now.  Just thought of this after a friend got engaged this weekend after only a few months of dating.)