A to Z Challenge – B

A2Z 2020 logo

The letter B…

My mom and dad always had books they were reading as we were growing up.  And they passed that love of reading onto me and my sister.  I loved to read and read a lot of books to my daughter as she was growing up.  She in turn now is always using her spare time for reading.  I don’t read like I used to.  I was at a place with my vision where with my glasses on I couldn’t see the print, but with my glasses off to read, I couldn’t see at a distance if I looked up for some reason.  So last month I broke down and saw the doctor.  I am now the proud owner of a pair of bifocals.

eyeglasses on opened book beside cup of coffee on table
Photo by Oziel Gómez on Pexels.com

My hope is that I will be able to resume my reading of books now.  I do still have the issues of fibro fog making me forget what I have already read sometimes.  I do read a lot of blogs too.  Any time I read something short or long it can transport me out of my life for a while to live through the characters.  So, if you haven’t guessed yet, my B gratitude is for books!

Open Mic Night

black and gray microphone
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

“No!  I told you I refuse to do it.  I just can’t handle the pressure with my anxiety.”  The woman looked upset and paced back and forth in the kitchen.

“Come on babe it will be fun, you’ll see.” He sat down in a chair at the table and added, “You know your words are great.”

“You are just saying that.  I’m an amateur and some of those people have been at it their whole lives.”

“Didn’t you tell me you started writing in middle school?”

“Yeah but that was lonely crap.”

“Come on, for me babe.  You just need to read one poem on stage.  And who knows, you could get that book deal you have always wanted then.”

“If you drive so I can take an anxiety pill.  I will read ONE very short poem.”

“Oh, honey that is great!  Now let’s go get ready and print out one of your best poems.”

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – refuse

A to Z Challenge – Books

#AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary badge

B is for Books

I come from a family of readers.  Both my parent read a lot, both my grandmothers were avid readers and I remember my grandfather reading the Omaha newspaper front to back everyday.

I would have to say that Judy Blume was a big influence in my love of reading.  There were other books I remember from growing up, No Flying in the House, Going Crazy, and Little House in the Big Woods.  Then my Dad introduced me to suspense, thrillers and science fiction/fantasy.  I found Stephen King, V. C. Andrews, and Piers Anthony.

Lately with my chronic fatigue I find it hard to read as much as I used to.  But, I read a lot here on WordPress and I occasionally listen to audio books.  I have been so behind on blogs until this weekend there was not a lot of spare time to read.  Now I hope to get to the Bruce Springsteen autobiography and the book Strange Weather by Joe Hill (he is one of my favorite authors), but first I promised my daughter (who reads more than anyone I know) I would read a book she bought on Kindle.

 

Follow my A to Z Challenge:

A

Mumbles … noble

“Tears are the noble language of the eye.” – Robert Herrick

I sit here in the dark with tears welling in my eyes… I fight to keep them from falling.  I miss the time I was spending with my Dad no matter how hard it was seeing him in decline.  In one week we will have our gathering/visitation to remember him. I am already dealing with anxiety over being in a room with so many people OR being disappointed by how few show up.  I remember back to his retirement party and the room it was held in was full, with people standing outside in the hall to hear the festivities.

I am slowly still going through posts while daily remembering people we forgot to contact.  I let two more people know today and thought of one more to contact tomorrow.  I am trying to go about a normal day as possible but it just isn’t easy.  As you can see I am not really writing about noble I am just writing.  I am so far behind and know as we clean out Dad’s house there will be more chronic fatigue to deal with.  So I say it again… I will get to your posts as soon as I can.  I keep trying to move forward.  Some days are easier than others, and this has been a hard night.  Doing something I normally did for Dad was to pick up things at Walmart… tonight when I went there it hit me that those trips for Dad are done.  Just kind of took the wind out of my sails.

I will stop with my babbling fingertips now.  My eyes have gone from filled with tears to struggling to stay open.  Thanks for putting up with me straggling behind the daily posts and reading.  Good night!

 

Written for (my peace of mind and) Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – noble

Mumbles… home care

I am taking a minute or two to write down a few thoughts and feelings but thought I would start with a Mumble. My Dad made it home after a full week in the hospital. His pneumonia is cleared up but he is still having some issues with confusion and memory. So he was sent home only with the understanding that someone would be there 24/7 for a couple of weeks. I take the over-night shift and we use a home care service for the other 12 hours of the day. Not a nursing staff, just someone to help out with trying to keep him mobile off and on throughout the day, meals and keeping an eye out for further confusion issues. This is only day two so there has not been much improvement yet. He just asked me yesterday if my younger self had been there a minute ago…. that is kind of impossible. I so hate the thought of him getting dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, it was hard watching my Mother-in-law going through it I don’t know if I have the strength to do it again.

I am slowly trying to get back to my reading and writing. I have seven daily prompts to do and LOTS of reading to catch up on. Dad however does not have Wi-Fi so I am limited to daytime activity. I am so used to doing Word Press at night I am not sure the muses will accommodate my daytime words. LOL So bear with me… I will get to those old post and eventually the new ones. I didn’t want you all to think I ran away. Have a good day/night… (((HUGS)))

Mumbles… nurse

I am having very limited access to WordPress right now.  I am staying with my Dad as he woke up Sunday morning with incredible pain when he tried to use his left arm.  After a trip to the ER and a follow-up visit with the doctor, he has a sling and is using ice for what is likely bursitis… still waiting to hear from the doctor on the x-rays for sure.  So I am helping him around the house and getting him meals.  It is better than it was but still a problem.  Hopefully this will be the last night staying here.  Then I will just pop in a couple of times a day.  I love my Dad but my body is screaming at me to take it easy soon.  I am not too comfortable in a nurses cap.  LOL

With my limited data I can only read so much on my phone and his computer is not like home.  (I miss my laptop!)  I am however trying to get through some as I can.  I am sadly behind on my daily posts but I am still writing in my notebook to keep the muses happy.

I do appreciate all of you who stick with me day after day and am sorry I am letting you down right now.  Life still happens even when there are plans already made… how insensitive of life, huh?  Be patient a little while longer I will get to all your posts and begin posting again.  Thanks for your understanding!

Mumbles… My Muse

Today’s word of the day is quintessential. The Encarta Dictionary defines it as “embodiment, the purest or most perfect example of something.” I have struggled with this word. I have thought of trying poems, but the thoughts of a perfect example of love, happiness or even pain are eluding me now. So I thought I would take a minute to ramble on… the perfect example of someone struggling for words with their muse taking a nap.

My muse sometimes takes the whole day off. The only things I have written today are a few thank you messages and a comment or two. And as usual those comments are on old posts as I am between two and three days behind again (so technically the word of the day is a few days old now). I was close to catching up this week, then the holiday happened and I lost most of that day. BUT as always I will get to your posts eventually.

My muse usually works best for me in the evening or night, but inspiration can strike anytime. I once got an idea for a poem from a package of gum. And then other times I can be focus on one thing (like the word quintessential) and have no words. But rambling on and on about nothing I can do. I however will not subject you to more words than necessary.

I will take my leave and see if any inspiration will strike over night… sometimes dreams, occasionally stray thoughts as I try to drift off, or the even more rare thoughts first thing when I wake up (although this is more of a half dream state really as I wake up slowly with the meds I take at night). Do you have a time of day when you are more inclined to have a creative mind? Or does the muse stick around all day for you? Have a good day/night everyone!

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – quintessential

*went to post this last night and had internet issues…. went to post it this morning had computer issues… this is the third attempt – I’ve got my fingers and toes crossed this time LOL

Happy and Grateful – Day 364

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

Next to last day… and as a side note, I may be late on my last post.  My daughter will be here for a night of games so it not only is going to be waiting for midnight, but also waiting to see who wins the battle.  LOL

Today was bitter cold.  The furnace has run almost nonstop and it still feels a bit cooler in here.  But that is winter in Iowa.  Tomorrow is supposed to be the coldest day with possible record-breaking lows.  I am grateful to have the warmth and comfort of a home… I know they said on the news the homeless shelters were full tonight.

I did get to come closer to being caught up with my reading on WordPress.  If I make it much later after I post this I hope to read more.  I am happy I found the time to read today.

One last call for ideas on what I could do this next year now that my Happy and Grateful is nearly done.  I am pretty sure I still want to post nearly every day… I would be lost without my writing.  Any ideas?

Ok… time to dim the lights and read myself to sleep.  Remember to find you happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day and PLEASE celebrate New Years Eve smart… don’t drink and drive!

Happy and Grateful – Day 351

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

AH!!!  Only one week until Christmas Eve… let the feelings of panic begin!  Will I be ready in time?  Will everyone like their gifts?  Will I run out of money before I am done shopping?  I need to breathe and regroup.  I have my lists and my calculator for shopping tomorrow (Monday should be less crowded than this weekend would have been).  My cards are almost done and I only have one more letter to write.  There is only one appointment this week.  I can do this!  …don’t worry, I go through this every year about this time.  That is why I will say I am grateful for my doctor who has taught me to be a little easier on myself this time of year.  If it weren’t for the years of counseling I would be in a state right now.  So thanks doc!

I got a little closer to being caught up on reading all the posts I have missed… I will eventually catch up and read everything.  I laughed a little, was surprised, and even got a lump in my throat.  I am truly happy that I have found so many good writers I can follow.  I may not read as many books as I used to, but I still read a lot of good things here on WordPress.

Ok it is after 2 in the morning already… time to rest my eyes and get some sleep so I can shop ’til I drop tomorrow.  The sad thing is that is what the shopping will probably do to me.  My back is still hurting from my day at the clinic with Dad.  But I try to stay positive and take some joy in the “hunt” for the perfect gift.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!