I Think I’m Alone Now

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She put the car into forward and pulled down the street.  Turning the corner, she headed for the highway.  She was stressed and so frustrated.  She hit the city limits and accelerated to 55 MPH.  Looking ahead of her there was only one car in the distance and no cars in the rearview mirror.  She took a deep breath and let out a blood curdling scream for as loud and as long as she could.  Then she smiled.

It wasn’t a big smile, just the smallest hint of one hitting the corner of her mouth.  She was finally free.  It had been a frustrating day with him moving out, but it was done and over and she had the keys back to her house… she could finally relax and not feel so alone while with people who ignored her.  She could find a little peace and solitude in the time she was alone now.  Not conflict and frustrations.

She turned the car around at the next turn and drove back into town.  She would grab a coffee at the local shop and then go to her home and for the first time in a long time, feel at peace.

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – forward

Three Mile Therapy

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Stephanie put the car into drive and pulled away from the curb.  She had no destination in mind, just a much needed drive out of town for a bit.  She was only a few blocks from the highway that led out of town.  She snapped off the radio as her head and heart were both pounding.  He was drunk again, this time at 3 in the afternoon.  Did he start the minute he woke up after his night shift?

She drove out of town and took the first gravel road to the South.  This road would connect up with another highway that would lead her back to town, but she had a good three miles stretch that was all hers.  She slowed the car and without letting go of the wheel screamed as loud as she could for as long as her breath held out.  It was a cathartic release of all the stress and anger she had building up.  It was either that or collapse in deep heaving sobs and cry for an hour or more.  She didn’t want to cry.  She had already shed enough silent tears when she showered.  This was her one other release.

She took a couple of deep breaths and let out another long and loud scream as she continued down the road.  No other cars or people around to hear her and it was such a needed release.  She took another deep breath and let out a third scream almost cracking her voice as she neared the stop sign.  She then took a couple deeper breaths and, in a whisper, said, “someday this will all end… soon I hope.”  Then she turned the car onto the highway and headed back to home.

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – cathartic

Mumbles … Scream

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!  Ok, so maybe there was no ice cream but there was cake!  I missed posting last night as it was my birthday, and I was fortunate enough to spend it with those I care about.  It started with a few posts on Facebook, I got serenaded on the phone by a dear friend, got special gifts in my Animal Crossing game, had dinner and played cards with my daughter and her fiancé, and then went back to spend the late evening with another friend in Animal Crossing.  It was a wonderful day.  One of the best ones I have had in a while… but I think it was because I only took half of the new med I have been struggling with.

Today it was back to the regular dose and I slept off and on through much of the afternoon.  And I know sleep is not far away tonight as I took my meds earlier for a morning scheduled doctor’s appointment.  I just really hate the way this med makes me feel and it has really done nothing for my anxiety.  Today my boyfriend came to give me some cabbage to chew on while he was putting together a large salad for dinner… I saw his hand and was terrified I was looking at spider legs and freaked out.  Yeah, my anxiety is still alive and well.

So, I have one more week of this shit.  Then I will see my doctor again to discuss my lack of progress, actually I think things have gotten worse.  If there is not a change of some kind I really will scream. BUT in the meantime, I will remember having a good day on Saturday.  After all I finally got the elusive blue rose in my Animal Crossing game! 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – scream

(Picture from free image Google search)