I had dinner tonight with two dear friends. One was a big help to me when I was going through my cancer treatments and the other has been a friend for years from work as well. It had been far too long since we had gotten together to talk so dinner stretched out more than 3 hours! We had to catch up on how our families were doing… and let’s just say it has been a bad year. We decided tonight that 2017 has to be better… murder (of a family pet), suicide attempts, health crisis, alcoholism, etc. We decided we should write a soap opera based on our lives as things have been so rough it is hard to believe.
But we got out laughter and tears. Leaned on each other a little and exchanged wishes for a great Christmas and a MUCH better New Year. We promised to get together more often and stay in touch. It was a wonderful night with good food and great friends. …now bring on that better New Year!
This is another day I struggled a little. I am having lots of anxiety over another doctor appointment out-of-town with snow in the forecast. I had errands to run today with my Dad and it was bitter cold outside. My boyfriend was home from work sick today. Not an ideal day at all. But in spite of it all I kept going forward and that in itself is something to be happy about. Tomorrow will get here when it is time and I will deal with it then. In the mean time I just need to focus on this minute only. And I can be happy in that minute if I try hard.
My grandfather used to hate Mondays… always seemed to be the day of the week when things would go wrong. I had a pretty good weekend, then today came along. Stress, anxiety, depression… it is all trying to gang up on me again. Money issues are really hitting us hard right now and with my car making a mystery sound I am so worried about repair costs. We have been putting off a recall repair (which will be free, but will take time) so decided today to set up an appointment and ask about the sound. Luckily the mechanic said it did not sound like anything serious and could be fixed when they do the recall repairs. That was a big relief to me! Not only do I need the car for my medical visits, but I am driving my Dad around now too as he has no license. So this turned out to be a good news Monday… my grandpa would never believe it.
This morning starts with a fizzle instead of a boom. I have no bounce in my step, no gusto, no oomph, no zing. With fibromyalgia I get days where the pain tries to dictate my life. Today is one of those days. It is day 3 of a flare in my pain, specifically lower back pain. I had to run a couple of errands last night and just getting in and out of the car was more than challenging. I decided the 45 minute drive to my doctor today would have to wait for another day. When I go into town the traffic is so busy I get tense. Adding tension to the existing pain I know it would set me back even more days. I am hoping doing my physical therapy exercises and a little TLC I can nurse me back to an easier level of pain.
I think I may have triggered this pain due to stress. The death of a family member has brought out the worst in some of the family members… too often that happens instead of bringing families together to support each other. And I am starting my yearly worry mode. I am a 13 year breast cancer survivor and when I have my yearly checks I always get nervous. I was a mere 36 when I was diagnosed and with such an early diagnosis my odds for recurrence are a little higher. And I am the queen of worry. Add stress and worry and it causes tension, which make the pain worse.
So today I will write, read, listen to some music and take it easy. I did my exercises to start the day. I will do the exercises once more today and hope this pain eases up. With any luck my zing will return soon. I hope you all put a little zing in your day… (((HUGS)))