Don’t Bite The Hand That Feeds You

You were down on your luck

I helped you up

I gave you food

Money and

A phone

In many ways I supported you

So I was taken by surprise

When you seemed to block me

From being a part of your life

You grew quiet

And distant

And always had an excuse

Finally I just felt like screaming

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you

You just might damage it forever

 

Written for Fandango’s February Expressions (FFE) #19

Together

I can surmount the pain
I can defeat the feelings of despair
I can triumph over my demons

only if you are in my corner
only if you stand by my side
only if you give me your strength

together we will survive
together we will thrive
together we will live

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – surmount

Here And Gone

You were there for me
At a time in my life
When I needed
Someone to care
Someone to notice
Someone to be a friend
You listened to me
You offered a hand
You gave advice
What I did wrong
Was to put you on a pedestal
And make you invincible
A legend in my mind
For you were just a friend
There for a moment
And gone in a blink of time

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – legend

A Friend Indeed

Your words become lost in my ears

It’s a soothing sound that drowns the pain

I focus on your eyes to read their sincerity

study your hands as they aid in your message

It all adds up to make me feel more at ease

It is not what you are saying as much as how

With emotion hidden behind the words

Implied love and support showing through

Your friendship means the world to me

I’d be lost without your encouragement

Too Young

You showed interest in me

And seemed to care

Right when I felt

There was no one there

And I will forever be

Owing you some glory

For having the nerve

To listen to my story

Even though you left

You’re still in my heart

After helping me

To make a fresh start

I still will thank you today

For all that you did

I realize now

You were just a kid

Too young then

To be a part of my life

Too timid to handle

My pain and strife

But I’ll always miss your guidance

Beyond your years

You had a way

Of taming my fears

Happy and Grateful – Day 17

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

Today was a mix of emotions.  I got a phone call from my best friend who I haven’t talked to for over a week.  The problem was I missed the call as I was at my Dad’s fixing his dinner at the time.  But just a chance to hear his voice in the message he left lifted my spirits.  He has been a big support for my through my depression diagnosis and treatment.  I’ve often thought that I would not be here if it wasn’t for the support he has given me.  I was happy to hear his voice.  And I am grateful he is a part of my life each and everyday… just wish he didn’t live so far away.

One, Two, Three PULL

Depression, anxiety… a tug of war in my head.  I have a muddled pile of thoughts all squished together screaming for a way out of my mind.  I have found in the last two years as my symptoms have gotten worse my friends seem to disappear more and more.  The best thing to do for a friend suffering is be there for them…. but if you are there for a long time and then suddenly put up a wall it will slowly eat away at any hopes.  A friend I always depended on, who was always there with advice or a good distraction is now a ghost of a memory.  Nothing more than the other “friends” who became silent right after I said I was sick.  But you know if I had suffered from a broken arm, they all would have lined up to sign my cast.  Depression is not something to fear… it is NOT contagious.  I battled cancer more than 10 years ago and friends brought me food so I didn’t have to cook and offered rides to treatments and covering hours at work…. but depression is like turning on the lights in a roach infested apartment.  Everyone just scattered.

So along with medication I write.  I used to write to a “friend” but they stopped responding.  Now I write poems and the occasional blog.  I need to write more.  I need to find an outlet for the screams that echo inside.  If no one ever reads my blog it is no different than my vanishing friends.  If I reach one person who feels less alone in a similar battle it is great.  But if I can help one “friend” to learn the way to help I would be overjoyed that some one out there will get the support that they need.  The tug of war is harder some days than others, but I refuse to let go of the rope.  I will prevail…. with or without someone who cares.