I sit here listening to the hands tick slowly on the clock. Another night wide awake and needing to sleep. So as my mind clicks from thought to thought and the clock keeps the beat I wait. Tonight is not unlike others I have survived through. It gets later and the alarm light stares at me from across the room to let me know of the looming morning. I take medication prescribed to “help” me sleep but they often fail me. Well that is not true. They work just fine about 2 or 3 hours before the alarm goes off and then I find it hard to wake up. Thus is the cycle of insomnia. To be blunt… it SUCKS!
I turn to the internet. I try to play a mind numbing game. I try to read. I practice deep breathing and relaxation techniques with the help of meditation videos. And then I look at the clock again. It is moving too fast. I practice night-time math. If I fall asleep in a half an hour I can still get “x” number of hours of sleep. Once the equation equals less than 5 I begin to play a game of chance. Rolling the dice on how bad tomorrow would be if I just stay awake. Can I plan on a nap tomorrow sometime? Can I go to sleep earlier tomorrow night – that one is always worth a laugh.
I guess it is time to try again… shut of the computer. Try to just breathe calmly again. Just don’t tell me the key is to count sheep. Here’s hoping this is really “goodnight” my internet friends.
Leigha Robbins 