I used to have a best friend who I could talk to about ANYTHING at pretty much anytime. He has moved on… new address, new city, new job, and apparently new friends. For all of last week I tried to reach him with only one response that was about nothing that mattered. I feel like I have lost my soul mate. It at times has been a flirting kind of love, but never more than friends… best friends. Now I feel like I must have done something to offend him. I am lost. I think what hurts most is knowing it probably would be easy for him to forget about me… he has a borderline Asperger and doesn’t feel emotions the same, he has told me many times. He could tell when I was down without a word and could almost always make me laugh or at least smile when I needed it. I am at a loss on what to do… so I talk to the internet.
I hope there is someone out there that might take a minute to read my words. Maybe someone else who has lost a friend and feels alone. Maybe no one. I just know I have to write. My emotions get bottled up and it leads to depression that seems unending. I have anxiety issues all the time and they have been soaring with this loss. So if it is ok with you out there… let me talk to you from time to time. Let me empty my cluttered mind. Let me babble on about nothing important for hundreds of words.
I can’t say I ask nothing in return… I do ask that you take the time to think about how you treat others. Remember they care about you and maybe some days need you too. Be patient with those you love. Don’t use people. ALWAYS tell someone you care about them and they are important in your life… some days that maybe just the boost they need.
I think I will try to sleep now. When my head is full of thoughts I know it is impossible. But now that I have done a word dump I think my head is a little more clear and sleep may come. Thanks for listening… come back every once in a while. I don’t promise great writing, but a friend in the night who is a little unhinged and hates to be alone. Sleep well everyone.
Leigha Robbins 