Alone

She heard the word

Alone

And she was instantly on guard

Why should she care

If she had someone to call her own

Or if she lived alone

Was it really so bad

To spend time with herself

But she had lived

A lot of years with someone

Her parents, husband and daughter

And the quiet was suffocating her now

Left in that silent void

She had never felt so alone and scared

But she was trying

There were less tears now

And more acceptance

If she could just get past

The feeling she would forever be alone

Maybe she could find a friend in herself


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – instant

Safety Net

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I feel like disaster is waiting

Hiding around the corner

One thing after another

Keeps going wrong

And you are still not here

Not where I can see you

Not near enough to touch

Not within my senses at all

I am trying to be strong

And weather this awful storm

But I would feel much safer

Wrapped up in your arms


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – disaster

Too Much

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The people

The noise

The unending conversations

It was like

A sensory overload

Too much talk

Too much sparkle

Too much of the holidays

She excused herself

And left the party

Taciturn for the rest of the month

In an attempt to

Recover some peace of mind


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – taciturn

Shine A Light This Way

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Asking for help is hard

Admitting I need a hand

Gets easily caught in my throat

People tell me I am strong

Then why do I feel so weak

The day can turn in the blink of an eye

Leaving me afraid of my shadow

Fear overwhelming me

And I am left searching

The small list of friends I have

And who I think can assist me

From letting the darkness take over

Will you give of your time today

Or am I as alone as I feel


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – assist

Can’t Sleep

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I sit in near silence

The tv on without sound

It’s gentle flickering light

Playing tricks on the mind

The hypnotic ticking of the clock

Lulls me towards a sense of peace

While the millions of thoughts

Bouncing around in my head

Hold onto other plans

A solitude I want

A loneliness I fear

At war with myself at 3 am


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – hypnotic

Mumbles … Extreme

Photo by Daniel Reche on Pexels.com

I knew what I wanted to do the minute I saw this, and I will get to that but first.  My life has been to the extremes.  I have had my high points and my lows.  Some people would think this was a low point as I am no longer in a relationship with my boyfriend of nearly ten years, but I feel a definite freedom and weight off of my shoulders.  I had been extremely isolated while he was actually here, but he was too busy with a million other things.  It was time to put me first.  And this past weekend he and his mom left to a small two-bedroom apartment.

So, now I wait for the extremes of depression and anxiety to hit.  I had a lot of high anxiety levers during the pack and leave, but it has been wonderful these last couple of days. I know the lows of depression will come though and I am doing all I can to keep them at bay.  I have a wonderful support group of family and friends who have been there for me.

Tomorrow will be a stressful day as they come back to (hopefully) get all the rest of their stuff they left behind.  Then I will totally free.

Maybe if he had listened to this song and taken notes things would have been different… but I doubt it.  What I thought of first when I saw the prompt… the band Extreme with one of my favorite rock ballads, “More Than Words.”


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – extreme

A Moment of Clarity

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He is unaware of my feelings

Oblivious to my sadness

I have breakthrough moments of happiness

But they are becoming fewer and fewer

Under the watchful eyes in my home

Afraid I will do something wrong

Peace is just a distant memory

Joy a thing of the past

Anxiety paralyses my being

Depression haunts my soul

One day something has to change

And any change is better than this


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – oblivious

Shield Me

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Pexels.com

Too much noise

Activity all around

People walking back and forth

Kids yelling and crying

Bombarded by stimuli

I feel it all falling in on me

I have to escape

I can’t focus

It is getting so hard to breathe

And my heart is beating overtime

Please show me the way out

Wrap me in the protection

I can only find in your arms


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – focus

Anxiety

My nerves are frazzled

That is just the way I am

Stress weighs heavy on me

I try the best I can

To handle what comes at me

Day by harrowing day

But sometimes it gets me

And I don’t have a say

As to what my body does

When a panic attack begins

I sit back and surrender

And hope that it soon ends


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – nerve