I knew what I wanted to do the minute I saw this, and I will get to that but first. My life has been to the extremes. I have had my high points and my lows. Some people would think this was a low point as I am no longer in a relationship with my boyfriend of nearly ten years, but I feel a definite freedom and weight off of my shoulders. I had been extremely isolated while he was actually here, but he was too busy with a million other things. It was time to put me first. And this past weekend he and his mom left to a small two-bedroom apartment.
So, now I wait for the extremes of depression and anxiety to hit. I had a lot of high anxiety levers during the pack and leave, but it has been wonderful these last couple of days. I know the lows of depression will come though and I am doing all I can to keep them at bay. I have a wonderful support group of family and friends who have been there for me.
Tomorrow will be a stressful day as they come back to (hopefully) get all the rest of their stuff they left behind. Then I will totally free.
Maybe if he had listened to this song and taken notes things would have been different… but I doubt it. What I thought of first when I saw the prompt… the band Extreme with one of my favorite rock ballads, “More Than Words.”
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – extreme
She stood in front of the class. Her notes were on the podium within reach, but they seemed a million miles away and out of focus. The entire class was looking at her; she felt every eye and knew there was judgement by them all. This speech was a big part of her grade and she was frozen with anxiety. She remembered what her teacher had said and took a deep breathe and centered on the wall in back instead of a person. She cleared her throat, glanced at her notes briefly and began her speech on the American Revolution.
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – speech
There is a lot going on in the world. A lot of it revolves around a tiny little germ – the corona virus. As I have mentioned before I have anxiety and this pandemic is not helping it at all. Then the depression is intensified by the thousands who have died. But I still go on.
My fibromyalgia is treating me pretty good today. It hasn’t been too bad of a week even. Really just sleep problems – can’t get to sleep, trouble waking up (that is due to medication to sleep I think), and the unexpected naps I take. The aches are always there to some degree, but I am not curled up in pain, I can sit up and write, read and I have made it up and down the stairs a few times today fairly easily. A shower did not completely wipe me out. Bottom line is, I am upright and for that I am grateful.
My case sits next to me. I will have to refill it tomorrow. It is my lifeline. It keeps me going from day to day, as long as I remember them. It is my pill case. I take an anti-depressant, anti-anxiety pills, fibromyalgia medicine, some vitamins, allergy meds and an inhaler. Then there are the muscle relaxers and pain pills I take as needed, as well as a daytime dose of anti-anxiety meds. I swallow 8 pills in the morning and 6 at night. But they keep me out of a deep depression, mostly. I am calm enough to get to sleep instead of staying awake going over and over things in my head. My fibro flares don’t seem to be as severe. All those who went through medical trials before me to test out the effectiveness of these drugs have my thanks. The researchers and scientist have my thanks. As we see the struggle over finding treatment, a cure, and a vaccine for the corona virus it reminds me of all the work that went into the meds I take. Bottom line is I am grateful to have the prescriptions I do.