I Am Strong – FFF #185

Why do you do this

Why do you tell me

Things that aren’t true

(You’re fat)

(You’re ugly)

(You’re weak)

(You’ll never be happy)

(You’ll never succeed)

(You’re a broken failure)

Why do you echo in my head

Nonstop every day

Spewing lies to bring me down

(You’ll never stop me)

(I am in control not you)

(You’re life is rubbish)

I will make you stop

I have power you see

I AM taking control

You will no longer bring me down

I am no longer alone

I have a team to help me

(But you trust no one)

STOP!

I trust me to know the truth

That feelings are not facts

And I have strength and hope

To live my life as I see fit

Without listening to your lies anymore

*****

Written for Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge (FFFC) – #185

Sharpen Your Ax

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Like a lumberjack chops at a tree

You sever little pieces of my love for you

Taking me for granted and ignoring me

Why can it hurt so much when you are forgotten

And I am not as young as I once was

And I will not forever be here for you

I love you with all of my being

But I can only tolerate so many chops

***

Written for Fandango’s One Word Challenge (FOWC) – chop

You Saved The Day

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Today again I needed help

But was afraid to turn to you

Same old story of pain and sadness

Chilled me to the bone

Why should I burden you

With what I can’t control

I fought the day all by myself

As I so often do

Closing off all contact

And let my problems stew

Then when I felt I wasn’t a threat

I finally reached out to you

Your words fit like a warm embrace

They left me with new hope

I never should have doubted you

You really lift me up

Now once again I feel my dreams

Might one day have a chance

*****

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – embrace

Ghosted

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The waters are rough

Tide is coming in

Stranded on the rocks

I call out your name

I feel the waves

Lash out at my feet

Trying to knock me over

To catch me off guard

The mist stings my face

As the waters wage a war

Drowning out my voice

No one can hear me

Still calling out your name

No one can see me

Now shrouded in the fog

But you won’t come

You’re nothing but a ghost

A mirage to play tricks on me

I am trapped in the echoes

Of a voice that doesn’t exist

Doomed to seal my fate

As you move on to the next victim

I struggle just to survive

The seas of deception

Alone, lost and frightened

You were never a friend

*****

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – sea

Not the Day Before Please

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It happened again today

The pain

The fatigue

The guilt

It is hard to make peace with myself

When I seem to always fail

Falling victim to this evil inside me

It eats away at

My energy

My strength

My happiness

Tomorrow I must be “normal”

And the way I feel now

That seems impossible

I fear I

Will frustrate

Will disappoint

Will lose

And those I care about

Will again think less of me

All because I am too tired to do anything today

*****

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – fail

Your Distorted Reflection

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Look

We have been through this before

Go ahead

Just slam the door

Walk away

You always do

Leaving me alone

Not knowing what to do

**

Look

I have had it

I am tired of this game

Always the one you blame

Take a look in the mirror

See the truth glaring back

I am trying my best

Get off my back

**

Look

Watch me pack my bags

I am no longer your toy

I deserve to be loved

Not by someone like you

By someone who can truly see

Not a shattered image of reality

But an honest love that all can see

*****

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – look

WDYS – Sea of Darkness

It is happening again

I feel the darkness sink in

Everything is murky

Out of focus

And so far out of reach

Then the air starts to leave me

I can’t take a breath

The water will drown me

It feels like impending death

One last time I burst upwards

Towards the light of hope

Reaching for your hand

Hoping you can find me

In this sea of fears

Where I feel myself

Drowning too often

Hoping your hand will guide me

Towards the comfort of shore

And your waiting friendship

Where I don’t feel so alone anymore

****

Written for Sadje’s prompt What Do You See (WDYS) #147

Torch Song

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Let the music draw us in

As we begin to sway as one

Pressed against each other

Feeling the heat rise

Wanting so much more

Than a simple dance can give

There is passion in the air tonight

And we know just how to capture it

The song’s end is only the beginning

As we succumb to the fire within

***

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – passion

Wings

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I have to stay sober

And keep my wits about me

This intoxicating feeling

Is making it rough

Those first flutters of

The butterflies in your heart

Are hard to resist

The wings go crazy

And the rush of feelings

Is often so intense

But I will not close my eyes

And let the emotions

Wash over me

My eyes are wide open

Struggling to see

If there is love in my future

Or is this just wings in the wind

***

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – sober

Trust Me (a serious matter)

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I have struggled with what the Supreme Court decided on Roe v Wade. I have wept for all those who were trusting of someone they shouldn’t have been. I sobbed for those who were given a memory they weren’t prepared to deal with. But it’s the ones whose lives are forever ruined seeking to find help in a most difficult situation that I cry for now. I was reminded Dirty Dancing was not a love story with flowers and hearts, but about a privileged girl helping someone in trouble. Penny came out of it able to have kids. Had she not had medical help she may not have been able to. She could have died. Those are the ones we will soon all mourn. This is just what could happen to many.

He smiled at me

He said I could trust him

I did

He held my hand

He said I would like it

At first I did

(NO)

He held me down

He said I deserved it

I didn’t

(NO)

He laughed at me

He said I was worthless

I wasn’t

(NO)

**

I gathered my strength

I knew I could do this

It wasn’t me

I pointed at him

I said he had done it

He did

**

They locked him away

They told me my fate

It grows

(NO)

They said I could love it

They said it didn’t matter

It did

**

He said I could trust him

He said he could help me

… now I can never have children


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – trust