It’s hard to ignore this kind of pain
I swallow hard and decide to just feel it
Accepting this path as the right one to take
Where I feel the hurt instead of trying to fix it
It kind of goes against basic human reactions
But I have tried to avoid or fix it before
And it just brings frustrations and no results
So today I will accept it and let the tears fall
*****
Written for Writer’s Workshop Prompts – the word ignore and 8 “sentences”
The electric like impulses surge across my legs
The tingling feeling like ants under the skin haunts my arms
A constant pounding in my head as thoughts use my brain as a drum
Today I can no longer be in denial of the pain
I struggle with the thought of taking a prescription opioid
Terrified the reduction of pain will become addictive as the meds
A few ibuprofens are a poor substitute for relief
But will ease things enough to keep me from addiction
I don’t want to fall like so many others have
Instead I struggle with the pain for as long as I can
Then give in and find a small bit of salvation in a little white pill
*****
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – denial
Living in a dream
I look for the best and
I hope for the rest
But if I were to be realistic
I would see it is not all roses
Life can be hard and unfair
Learning to accept the pain
Instead of dwelling on it
Frees us to enjoy that which is
Truly good
*****
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – realistic
Please take a minute to read this…
I am sorry, but for the next few days I will not be posting. As you can see I have a killer toothache that I can’t get past to make poems or other post, just not thinking straight. I was thinking of hiring my cats to do the posts…
But they were too wrapped up in looking at dog fail memes and I could not pull them away from the videos of dogs failing at basic tricks. 🙂
As I am able I will try to read some posts in-between ice packs and naps. I should be better soon – at least by the 23rd when I can finally get into the oral surgeon. Thank you all for understanding.
(((HUGS)))
(A special thanks to my boyfriend who helped me assemble this post and found the pictures. ❤️)
I had a dream last night
I was back at work
Productive and worthwhile
I had a dream last night
I was able to dance
You leading me across the floor
I had a dream last night
My body and life was anew
I was happy and laughing
Then I woke…
The pain, fatigue and depression all hit
And I began the nightmare of a day
*****
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – anew
As always on a Friday afternoon I reach back past the cobwebs to my old posts and share one from the tombs in a past year on this date. This week it is a young one, only two years old from 2021.
A Moment
I wish I had a moment
Just for a quiet repose
No pressures
No judgement
No endless thoughts
Perhaps today
Just for a short time
I can take a deep breath
And find a calm inside
A moment of tranquility
Where I can relax
Without the stresses
I face everyday
Without the pain
My body inflicts
Without being haunted
By my yesterdays
… perhaps for a moment
*****
For Fandango’s Flashback Friday (FFF) – July 28th
I stand in the shower
Letting the hot water pulse
Across my aching back
Hoping to melt away the day
I pushed too hard
And did too much
And now my body will pay
Stepping out into a room of steam
I dry off and put on my robe
Momentarily I feel good
After the warming massage
But I know it won’t last
I shake off that fear
And try to embrace a good night
One last thing to do
Before I accept my fate
I draw a face on the mirror and say
“Take that fibro!
You can’t take away my smile
Even through the pain.”
*****
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – steam
It’s like all the joy has been ripped out of me
Pain and sorrow is all I feel
And an aching emptiness that is devoid of everything worthwhile
Every inch of my being hurts
And a simple walk up the stairs takes forever
All because I know you wont be there
At the top of the stairs to hold me
You wont be in the living room to laugh with
And you wont share a meal from the kitchen
Your presence has meant so much during this time together
It creates a tenderness so sensitive to think of you gone
I know it is not forever
Six months is not an eternity
But seeing your bus pull away
Left me bruised and beaten by loneliness
***
I had to put my boyfriend on the bus to head home tonight… so very hard to do. We have been together more than 6 weeks and it really hurt to see those bus tail lights. I know the next six month until I see him again will not go by near as fast at the time we spent together… but it will pass in time. I just had to post tonight as ‘devoid’ was the word of the day and that fit so well with the emptiness that I feel right now. I will pull up my big girl panties and carry on until he comes back, but for right now I just hurt.
*****
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – devoid
It comes in quietly
Without any warning
All will be well
Then WHAM it hits
This debilitating disease
It’s unrelenting pain
And the chronic fatigue
Strikes any time of day
A flare sends my limping
To the medicine cabinet
I can barely stay awake
And my minds focus
Bounces around in circles
I feel like it’s me against the world
As I struggle to explain
Another appointment to cancel
Because I just can’t move
Or fear I will sleep driving
And loneliness closes in
Twisting my thoughts
Well I am warning you fibro
I will not let you win today
I may surrender to the symptoms
But I will never give up
Living the best life I can
*****
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – warning
Leigha Robbins 